Sunday, November 28, 2010

Garlic Mashed Potatoes

Now this is the story all about how
Vegans turned thanksgiving upside-down,
And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there
I'll tell you all about mashed taters that were lighter than air.

See, I was making all the Thanksgiving sides,
But my mum’s tater wishes I just couldn’t abide:
Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, deliver ‘em hot,
And she wanted two versions, on vegan, one not.
“But Ma!” I cried, in a state of shock
“I’ll just use margarine!” I said, as we fought.
No sooner had I hung up the phone in triumph
Another person called and said “Vegan?!? Harrumph!”

“There’s only one reason I come to Thanksgiving Day,
So you better not mess up the taters or I’ll be on my way!”
Now that’s a lot of pressure for one lil’ vegan,
But I hit the kitchen, determined, donning a cute vintage apron.

I turned the oven on to 400,
Filled a stockpot with water and put it on the stove.
Grabbed Yukon Golds and threw ‘em in the water,
And then I opened the refrigerator

Took out earth balance and rice milk, thyme, salt and pepper
And while the taters were boiling, I roasted garlic.
I realized then I didn’t have enough, so I called up my Mum
And said “your wish came true! You make yours and I’ll bring mine”

When all the cooking was done and we finally arrived,
I saw those omni’s look at my taters with tears in their eyes,
See, theirs were bland, no garlic to be seen
And I settled my throne with my taters supreme.

Garlic Mashed Potatoes

1 Bulb roasted garlic
4.5 Lbs Yukon Gold* potatoes, boiled till soft
4 Tbs earth balance
½ cup unsweetened rice milk
2 tsp fresh chopped Thyme
1 tsp fresh chopped rosemary
Salt and pepper to taste

Throw all ingredients in a bowl and mash to your heart’s content

*Yukon Golds have low starch content as far as taters go, so they break up easy when mashing and don’t get gluey or gummy. There’s your tater tip for the day


  1. omg, this was awesome. I think reading this poem was the first time I smiled today.
    And I would def eat you taters since you left the skins on. That is a make or break issue for me.