Garlic Mashed Potatoes

Now this is the story all about how
Vegans turned thanksgiving upside-down,
And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there
I'll tell you all about mashed taters that were lighter than air.

See, I was making all the Thanksgiving sides,
But my mum’s tater wishes I just couldn’t abide:
Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, deliver ‘em hot,
And she wanted two versions, on vegan, one not.
“But Ma!” I cried, in a state of shock
“I’ll just use margarine!” I said, as we fought.
No sooner had I hung up the phone in triumph
Another person called and said “Vegan?!? Harrumph!”

“There’s only one reason I come to Thanksgiving Day,
So you better not mess up the taters or I’ll be on my way!”
Now that’s a lot of pressure for one lil’ vegan,
But I hit the kitchen, determined, donning a cute vintage apron.

I turned the oven on to 400,
Filled a stockpot with water and put it on the stove.
Grabbed Yukon Golds and threw ‘em in the water,
And then I opened the refrigerator

Took out earth balance and rice milk, thyme, salt and pepper
And while the taters were boiling, I roasted garlic.
I realized then I didn’t have enough, so I called up my Mum
And said “your wish came true! You make yours and I’ll bring mine”

When all the cooking was done and we finally arrived,
I saw those omni’s look at my taters with tears in their eyes,
See, theirs were bland, no garlic to be seen
And I settled my throne with my taters supreme.

Garlic Mashed Potatoes

Homemade Tofurkey with Mushroom and Wild Rice Stuffing Recipe

Well, the first Vegan/ Non-Vegan Thanksgiving to be had in half a decade has officially come to an end. There were a few hiccups here and there, but it was pretty damned successful in the end. I had good friends to help me cook some damn good food and keep good company. The power went off att my mum’s house, but our good family friends north of Seattle stepped in to host, and the in-laws, the wife, and our good friend Dee made it through the snow to a delicious meal, good friends and family, and a rousing game of Apples to Apples. 

Right out of the oven

We ended up making toast points, “cheddar bay” biscuits, roasted garlic mashed taters, roasted yams with rosemary, green beans with alder wood smoked salt, market spice tea cupcakes (after a failed attempt at a cherry torte, which shall never be spoken of again), and a bitchen’ homemade tofurkey. I will post the rest of the recipes, but I wanted to start with the star of the vegan meal: 
the homemade tofurkey 

Slice o' heaven

with mushroom and wild rice stuffing. Deedra had send me the recipe* from Chow a few weeks ago, and while it’s quite time intensive, it’s not hard, and it is by far the best Thanksgiving main dish I’ve had. The tofu takes on the taste of the sage and thyme, and the savory earthy dressing compliments. This bake will definitely be making an appearance in future Thanksgivings. 

After we had eaten our weight in food, laid on the floor like fat walruses and groaned as our bellies gurgled while processing our gluttony, and had a few glasses of wine, we ate cupcakes and I totally kick serious ass at Apples to Apples. (We have since procured said game, and I welcome some serious game nights. Bring. It. On.) Though it was a bit different from the last few Thanksgivings (no one was referred to as “Fuck Face” all evening), and some east coast faces were missed around the table, in the end, it was a pretty damned good day.

*I used vacuum packed extra firm Wildwood brand tofu, only used 60 oz., and did not drain it in a cheesecloth as instructed. If I had used water packed tofu, I would have, but I think the vacuum packed is so dry it’s a pain in the ass step that can be skipped. I also switched out brown ride for wild rice. It’s a nice change. You just have to add ¼ cup extra of wild rice, as it won’t soak up as much water as brown.

Essentials for Holiday Treats

The week before thanksgiving I start to get really excited for the baking and candy making that generally fills my late November and December calendar. I’m not a big sugar person the rest of the year, but during December I could easily consume thirty pounds of sugar. But before I become a sugar filled Tasmanian devil, I have to stock my pantry with all the staples for the December sugar rush.

Sweetened Condensed Soymilk
Make your own (I just found this and my mind is blown- never tried it- will get on that!) or order it through Pangea (they ran out a while ago, but don’t worry, it’s back). It’s essential for fudge and caramel sauce.

Vanilla Soy Creamer
A key ingredient for baking, I use as a substitute for milk in most baking recipes–it’s a bit thicker than regular soy milk and tends to make consistencies a little thicker, generally ending in better results.

Pumkpin Puree
Essential for pumpkin pies, pumpkin cheesecake, pumpkin pie fudge, veganized cherpumples (ok, if anyone actually makes one of these, please, please, send me pics!), and pumpkin pasties! (By the way, I am uber excited about Harry Potter 7 pt. 1 opening and will, in celebration, be making some pumpkin pasties tomorrow. I have decided my version will be southern style fried pies, filled with pumpkin pie filling)

Ricemellow Crème
Fudge, fudge, fudge! I really like to make fudge during the winter holidays. I’m sure there are other things you can use for

Vegan White Chocolate Chips
A necessity for cookies and fudge (if you don’t just want chocolate fudge)

Peppermint Candy Canes
Peppermint bark anyone? Peppermint topped fudge? Tree decoration? Many uses, one candy.

Agar Agar
While perusing the lofty shelves at the Seattle Public Library yesterday, I ran across a gem of a cookbook from the 70’s entitled The New Joys of Jell-O (as opposed to the old joys of Jell-O?) and is full of ornately molded “food” in neon colours with bits of fruit and/or vegetables suspended throughout. Watch out world: this holiday season, with the help of agar agar, vegans will join in the garish retro food revolution. (I draw the line at jelled gazpacho. That’s some sick shit.)

Egg Replacers
Bobs red mill…extra firm silken tofu…flax seeds. All must be kept on hand at all times to use in tandem or on their own. Stay tuned for uses.

Cookie Cutters, Pie Cutters and Gelatin Molds.
I’m not even going to ask what you would make for a custom cookie cutter, but the possibilities are endless. And while it’s true that pie crust cutters are totally extravagant, I just love the kitsch factor of trees adorning a pie crust. Also, don’t tell me zombie brain molds are only good for Halloween. Fuck that- don’t you know zombies don’t care what time of year it is? When those bitches want brains, those bitches want brains.