Kale and "Sausage" Hash

I've been super busy lately: out shooting from the hip with my holga, taking a painting class at the local community college (gotta love those continuing education classes!), still trying to finish a few quilts (I should probably finish them before the babies I am making them for graduate high school or something), and writing, writing, writing!

But a girls gotta eat, so I've been making simple fast foods like this hash, which there a bazillion different variations on. That's why I love them: chop up some potatoes, add whatever is on hand, saute everything in some oil until heated and crispy and voila: a filling and delicious meal that doesn't break the bank and only takes about 30 minutes to make.

Kale and "Sausage" Hash

Sweet Potato and Kale Enchiladas

These enchiladas were the star of my birthday dinner extravaganza. They're not exactly traditional by any means, but they sure are tasty!

I totally adapted this from Veganomicon, the holy bible of vegan cooking. Using sweet potatoes instead of regular potatoes makes this dish jump off the page, and if you use Okinawan sweet potatoes (which are pretty much the coolest tubers ever) the combo of purple of the yam and the green of the kale looks amazing. If you can't find Okinawan sweet potatoes (and you likely won't be able to unless you live in Asia, Hawaii, or the west coast) regular ol' orange yams will suffice.

My cat kindly took off the top of this enchilada so you could see the filling

Enchiladas:

“Cheesy” Potato Gratin

I finally fed my craving. See, I've been craving scalloped potatoes since Thanksgiving. The warm cheesy bubbles that pop with steam on the way from the oven to the table, the crisp browning edges that crunch, the perfectly laid rows of thin potato slices that are soft when you bite down, yet not mushy... yeah, that's what I've been craving. 

I fought the craving off for a while until Christmas rolled around and we had dinner with my wife's family and my mother-in-law served up a potato gratin, looking like the angels had made it and placed it down right beside me to tantalize my olfactory senses. And it was made with bacon. As quickly as the angels had laid down this dish beside me, the Devil was there to enforce the steadfast law that if you want something done your way, you better just do it yourself. So I begged for the recipe, veganized it, and bestow upon you the holy grail of potato gratin.

“Cheesy” Potato Gratin

Portuguese Bean Soup

If you wanted to try my linguica seitan "sausage" recipe, but weren't sure what in the world to do with said "sausage," don't fear! you can make this awesome cabbage stew. It's a true "peasant stew" americanized by generations of mothers passing down to their offspring, and it was a favorite of mine when I was small during the winter months.

On a completely different, yet slightly related note, I blame Michael Scott and Ricky Gervais for my 4th grade stifled laughter over the last two days. Trust me, I know it's stupid, and immature, but I can't, for the life of me, read or type the word "sausage" without immediately thinking "that's what she said!" Even if it makes no sense whatsoever. Thanks, pop-culture, for taking over my brain. Again.

Portuguese Bean Soup

Garlic Mashed Potatoes

Now this is the story all about how
Vegans turned thanksgiving upside-down,
And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there
I'll tell you all about mashed taters that were lighter than air.

See, I was making all the Thanksgiving sides,
But my mum’s tater wishes I just couldn’t abide:
Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, deliver ‘em hot,
And she wanted two versions, on vegan, one not.
“But Ma!” I cried, in a state of shock
“I’ll just use margarine!” I said, as we fought.
No sooner had I hung up the phone in triumph
Another person called and said “Vegan?!? Harrumph!”

“There’s only one reason I come to Thanksgiving Day,
So you better not mess up the taters or I’ll be on my way!”
Now that’s a lot of pressure for one lil’ vegan,
But I hit the kitchen, determined, donning a cute vintage apron.

I turned the oven on to 400,
Filled a stockpot with water and put it on the stove.
Grabbed Yukon Golds and threw ‘em in the water,
And then I opened the refrigerator

Took out earth balance and rice milk, thyme, salt and pepper
And while the taters were boiling, I roasted garlic.
I realized then I didn’t have enough, so I called up my Mum
And said “your wish came true! You make yours and I’ll bring mine”

When all the cooking was done and we finally arrived,
I saw those omni’s look at my taters with tears in their eyes,
See, theirs were bland, no garlic to be seen
And I settled my throne with my taters supreme.

Garlic Mashed Potatoes

Cardamom Spiced Sweet Potatoes, Crispy Sesame Kale, and a note about Project Runway

I will get to the food in just a minute, but first, I want to take a minute and go on a rampage against the stunt Project Runway pulled last night. So if you don’t want the show spoiled, just skip to the deliciousness that lies ahead. Otherwise, sit back and enjoy a good ol’ “Colleen’s lost her shit moment”

I have two things to say: One: If Betsy Johnson and David LaChapelle ran away with the circus and gave birth to a love child on Día de los Muertos, his name would be Mondo Guerra. The genius that boy showed with mixing patterns and prints on this season’s Project Runway! But of course Michael Kors went and got another stick up his ass (too bad it wasn’t an electrocution prod. I would have been happy to see the bastard anally electrocuted like the beings he makes his ugly-ass bags out of) upon seeing that Mondo is clearly a better designer than he is, and since clearly no one can be better Michael Kors, he somehow convinced the rest of the judges that Gretchen’s crunchy granola throwbacks to the 1970’s should win the whole of season 8. Two: Heidi, my respect for you has fallen immensely. Way to let that bully Kors and that bitch Nina Garcia push you around. I hope you feel like shit.

Crunchy granola fashion does not belong on the runway. It does not belong in New York fashion week. Hell, it doesn’t even belong at JCPenney. The only thing crunchy granola thinking is good for is the sentiment of buying local seasonal food. Don't get me wrong: I have great respect for hippies. I have them to thank for Jimi Hendrix, Vietnam Protests and the Moosewood Cafe cookbook, but those nouveau hippie phish heads and widespread panic kids really chap my ass. No offense.

My point of all this rambling is that I sat in my half put together apartment last night, watching the season finale of project runway (ok, mostly I was just yelling obscenities at the T.V., whatever) ranting about boho hippies with my longtime friend Aly. All while eating, hands down, one of the best meals I’ve cooked since moving back to the Pacific Northwest, entirely consisting of local organic vegetables that had been bought at the co-op up the street. And probably grown by crunchy-ass granola hippies. The irony is not lost on me. Oh, I will eat your produce, but I will never, ever wear your fugly clothing.

Cardamom Spiced Sweet Potatoes with Crispy Sesame Kale

Roasted Yellow Pepper Soup and Roasted Tomato Soup with Hot Pepper Cream

If you ask me what holiday I love most, I will respond “Thanksgiving.” I know, I know, it’s a horrible bastard of a colonized holiday. But for me, it’s just a time to cook for 2 days and share time and food with my good friends. For the last 5 years, I’ve hosted a “friends only” feast, and last year's was by far the most impressive. A full 5-course meal for 16 people, from appies too dessert, and way too much wine in between. The meal lasted 5 hours, including a rock band break before dessert. There was much laughter, much swearing (we all had name tags with pseudonyms like “Fuck Face” and “Ho’ Bag” adorning our shirts) and way too much drinking. I’m not one for traditional celebrations. At any rate, I’ve been meaning to post recipes from last Thanksgiving for about 11 months now. What can I say? I’m a procrastinator. At any rate, it’s high time I posted them, so here’s the first in a long awaited series of recipes from the Thanksgiving 2009 extravaganza!

Course one: Roasted Yellow Pepper Soup and Roasted Tomato Soup with Hot Pepper Cream